Darth Marx

Kuuuuhhhhhhhh ... kuuuuhhhhhhhh

Courtesy of sister Zina

Thoughts of the week

Don't you wonder what the referee is screaming to the WWF wrestlers? How does one aspire to become a WWF referee? No one listens to the guy, and it would seem to be a high-stress job to me ... I think as I'm on the treadmill.

The simple act of asking works wonders.

My thumbs are back to normal. Hello, Little Piggies.

As I head out my building in the morning, I actively inhale deeply as I walk by Mr. Smell Good's apartment, hoping to get a whiff of his cologne. Stalker, huh? I know.

I become anxious as I drive over train tracks.

Where the hell did one pillowcase go? It's part of a set, damn it!

I'm jonesing to read my books, so kay-thanks-bye.

Working and working out

I have sore thumbs, raw knees, and aching shoulders and feet. My illness is called Library Carpet Installation.

The library has been closed the past two weeks due to new carpet installation. My staff and I have had to move ALL the books, videos, computers, etc from one half of the library to the other. And then back again! The size of our collection is about 68,000, yo! Plus the items and equipment in our offices.

The installers only move "empty" furniture, thus all our hard work. I've gotten up and down so many times pulling and reshelving ginormous books, I swear I've the strongest thighs (and thumbs) in the universe.

The good thing is that I'm somewhat getting a double workout. One at work and then one at the gym. At my last self-weigh-in, I was satisfied with my progress. Then WTF? A few days ago, scale shows a gain of two pounds.

Better be all muscle.

Running through my head

I wonder how many times in my entire life I've hit the backspace button.

Shrimp omelettes--love them! One whole egg and three egg whites.

Today I walked to work with rice on my shirt.

A prerequisite for the man I marry: MUST be good at massaging my feet and shoulders. I don't care if he's fugly or has a smelly wristwatch.

Does anyone use the word deck anymore? As in, "I'm gonna deck that girl for talking crap about me." And how about fuckai?

For Chamorros, is the phrase, decka decka dagan, still alive?

My baby sister has a date tonight. My brother will probably want to deck the guy.

deck = to beat up or fuckai

decka decka dagan = to release the bunched up cloth in your butt crack OR a phrase usually mockingly sung to someone announcing said cloth

Wiki wiki

Share a passion of yours by starting a wiki! Wetpaint is free and easy to use.

Me? I'm seriously swamped at work, plus I like to nap mid-day. Anyway, I just really liked this video.

What would your wiki be about? If it's about napping, let me know, okay?

Fairy tale it like it is

Once upon a time
~~~~~~~~
In a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
A beautiful, independent,
Self-assured princess
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Happened upon a frog as she sat
Contemplating ecological issues
On the shores of an unpolluted pond
In a verdant meadow near her castle.
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The frog hopped into the princess' lap
And said: " Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
Until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
And I will turn back
Into the dapper, young prince that I am.
~~~~~~~~
And then, my sweet, we can marry
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And set up housekeeping in your castle
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With my mother,
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Where you can prepare my meals,
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Clean my clothes, bear my children,
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And forever feel
Grateful and happy doing so. "
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That night,
~~~~~~~~
As the princess dined sumptuously
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On lightly sauteed frog legs
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Seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
And onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
She chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't fucking think so.

Courtesy of Friend Carla

Hi.

I'm really busy. And tired.

Bye.

All signs point to the Great Wall of China

I've been researching where to spend Thanksgiving recently (before any of the events below took place). So far, my top choice is Beijing mostly because I want to see the Great Wall of China.

And boy are there signs luring me into taking a trip there! I swear, this is too spooky.

Sign #1: Last night I received an email from a friend containing pictures of whacky and funny situations. One picture showed a toilet sign with arrow pointing that-a-way, up and down the steps of the Great Wall.

Haha, I thought.

Sign #2: This morning I get an email from my sister announcing the engagement of her friend. The marriage proposal took place at the Great Wall ten days ago!

Hmm, what an odd coincidence, I thought.

Sign #3: Today I get home from work and flip on the television. CBS Evening News is featuring the Great Wall.

WTF, I thought.

If Qin Shi Huangdi makes a cameo in my dreams tonight, I'm going to slap my own face. And then confirm my reservation.

Sunday miscellany

Today. Today I got a wonderfully pleasant whiff of cologne on a stranger-man. It was so pleasant I wanted to backstep, close my eyes, inhale his neck, then walk away. We were merely two passersby entering and leaving the building at the same time.

I love little surprises like that.

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I don't know what it is about me that makes old ladies want to be my friend. And I say "old" with affection and no offense. I tend to develop friendships with women who are 30 or so years older than me. My friendship with Tensie, Barbara, Joan, Uschi, and Brigitte is one that if we haven't seen each other in years, we could easily pick up as if we saw each other the day before.

What does it mean? Am I old at heart? Are they young at heart? Eh, they're my girls nonetheless.

Today I had champagne brunch with my new old lady friend, Maria. Yesterday she told me: Don't worry, I'm cool to hang around with.

Not only was she nice company, but I also learned about federal benefits I was not aware of. I learned a little bit more about menopause too. Them's old ladies are a wealth of information!

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Uhm, I don't really dig books like this, but since it was for my book club and a really quick read, I forced myself to finish it. The author poses three questions to you:

1. Why are you here?

2. Do you fear death?

3. Are you fulfilled?

I didn't probe deep into my soul to answer the questions, but had you asked me DURING brunch, I would've said:

1. Because I only had grapes this morning, and I'm starving. You're blocking the buffet line. Move, asshole.

2. Ask me after I have waffles.

3. Does it look like I'm full?!

Should you ever find yourself in this situation

Gin, I loved this postcard! And thanks for the butterscotch too.

Jewelry bug

If I had a sugar daddy, I'd demand loads of money at this very moment. Not to donate it to a good cause or even go on a vacation.

You know what I'd do? I'd buy myself jewelry, lots and lots of fine jewelry.

Each time I go into The Store, my first pitstop is the fine jewelry section. You can see me hover over the counters, longing for the lovely earrings that would look even better on my earlobes.

But. No one is stuffing cash down my pockets. So I thank the salesclerk for letting me hold the earrings up to my ears and leave wishing I had a sugar daddy. ;)

Straight up, now [don't] tell me

I'm not sure if you think this is a good or bad thing, but this is what I do sometimes.

If I have no interest in the words that are coming out of your mouth, I simply say one of the following to you:

Sorry, I have no interest in that. Or ...

That really doesn't interest me. Or ...

No offense, but you can save your breath on that topic. Or ...

You don't need to explain any further.

And what if I was the receiver of such a comment? I'd totally be cool with it and move on. I do it merely to save time for you and me.

Boy, I'm a bitch.